I remember when I was really, really sick with a horrible flu in December 2010. I lay on the couch for three weeks wearing what can only be called muumuus and lamented the state of my existence. I prayed for time to move quickly so that I would be back to my old self again. And when the flu was finally over, I ran around the city like a bat out of hell. I had so much to make up for!
That was over a period of three weeks. Now I'm staring a lifetime of that mentality in the face and it's knocking me off my block.
The attack itself hasn't been that bad. I have some cobweb-looking floaters in my vision and my peripheral vision is a tiny, tiny bit blurry. I still have hypersensitive fingers on my right hand and a stiff(ish) pinky finger on that hand, plus a bit of decreased sensation up my right arm. I've had some fatigue and some L'Hermitte's sign (mostly a buzzing in my hands when I lower my neck). That's about it. I think I'm on my way out of this attack because the numb/tingly stuff is slowly but surely improving. It bothers me a bit that I developed the optic stuff seven weeks after the numbness hit me but I really don't think that was a new attack. I think it was just more symptoms of the same one.
What's baking my noodle right now is thinking about the future and trying to figure out what is happening to me. I know that MS is a progressive, chronic disease but I also know that I started Copaxone only 19 days after my CIS diagnosis so I moved as quickly as I could (even my neuro team was surprised at how quickly I was able to start the meds). I know that there are so-called "benign" cases but I also know that everybody thinks that their case is going to be benign.
I really want to be positive and chipper but I just wish I knew SOMETHING definite!
I can see the old-hat MSers out there reading this with a knowing smile on their faces. Trust me, I'd let you guys pat me on the head if you could. I guess I have to expect the unexpected and figure out what kind of course I have by considering past symptoms. It's just that it's very hard to look to the future if the only way to learn about my condition is to keep looking back.
Copaxone is kicking my ass a bit right now too. It started really well - I tolerated it with no problems and the injection-site reactions really weren't bad. Last week, however, every single site looked and felt like a huge bee sting. Every welt took about 5-6 days to go away - just in time for injecting into that site area again (yay!). If I had a nickel for every time I called Shared Solutions I would be well on my way to financial freedom.
Finally I decided to chuck the autoinjector and do the injections manually. What a difference! They still hurt for a few days but not nearly as much. It's tolerable now without any pain meds. If any of you are struggling with the Copaxone injections here is my injection protocol:
1. Make sure your syringe is room temperature.
2. Apply heat to the area for about 3-5 minutes before you inject.
3. Pinch up a good amount of fat.
4. Inject REALLY SLOWLY. This is the most important part for me.
5. As you push the plunger, release the pinch of fat gradually.
6. Make sure you apply pressure to the puncture site for about 1-2 minutes.
7. Ice the area for about 5 minutes after the injection.
Don't get me wrong - the injections still suck and I have a bee sting reaction for a couple of days afterward. They are just much less sucky now.
If anyone else is struggling with the same things post a comment. We're in this together. Until next time...